that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize