I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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