I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize