My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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