she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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