Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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