I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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