I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize