Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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