Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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