i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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