i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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