Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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