I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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