Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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