just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize