I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize