do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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