I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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