I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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