Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize