ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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