trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize