I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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