he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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