i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
