omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize