my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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