I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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