The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize