Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize