she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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