i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
