I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Houston, we have a squirter
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize