Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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