do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize