My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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