Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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