Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize