Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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