I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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