Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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