Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize