He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize