I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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