you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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