I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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