is your mom at the bar?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize