I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They are going to name an STD after you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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