You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize