Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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